I ate way too much this morning. 3 rounds of toast, porridge and 2 yoghurts :( I couldn’t even get them back up. I tried to so much. But I only got up a bit of it so took 6 laxatives but I think I’ll have to take some more. I hate this.
I haven’t eaten any food yet, I’ve had a smoothie, which was probably about 200kcals and I’ve just poured out 69kcals of skimmed milk exactly and i just can’t drink it. I want to eat, but I vowed myself not to purge. And I know if I eat, I’ll purge.
I want to cry right now :( I just realized my dance solo dress rehearsal is tomorrow and I just, I just can’t. I want to just rid of everything. Everything is wrong and fucked up and I hate it :( I wish I could just sleep forever. You don’t wanna know what else if going on in my messed up mind.
My throat kills so bloody much. Contemplating telling the mother but don’t want to because shes awkward to tell things like that. I want to stop but I don’t have the control to stop. I have nothing left.
- story of my life: i don't know what to wear because i look ugly in everything
ABOUT ME- BOLD THE ONES YOU’VE DONE! BE HONEST :D
- Graduated high school.
- Kissed someone.
- Smoked a cigarette.
- Gotten so drunk you passed out.
- Rode every ride at an amusement park.
- Gone to a rock concert.
- Helped someone (I like to think I have)
- Gone fishing.
- Watched four movies in one night.
- Gone long periods of time without sleep.
- Snorted cocaine.
- Failed a class.
- Dealt drugs.
- Been in a car accident.
- Been in a hurricane.
- Done hard drugs (i.e. ecstasy, heroin, crack, meth, acid).
- Watched someone die.
- Been to a funeral.
- Burned yourself.
- Ran a marathon.
- Cried yourself to sleep.
- Spent £200 in one day.
- Flown on a plane.
- Cheated on someone.
- Been cheated on.
- Written a 10 page letter.
- Gone skiing.
- Been sailing.
- Had a best friend.
- Lost someone you loved.
- Shoplifted something.
- Been to jail.
- Dangerously close to being in jail.
- Skipped school.
- Had detention.
- Got in trouble for something you didn’t do.
- Gone to a different country.
- Dropped out of school.
- Been in a mental hospital.
- Watched all of the “Harry Potter” movies.
- Had a yard sale.
- Had a lemonade stand.
- Actually made money at the lemonade stand.
- Voted for someone on a reality TV show.
- Written poetry.
- Read more than 20 books a year.
- Gone to Europe (I urmm live here)
- Loved someone you shouldn’t have.
- Used a coloring book over age 12.
- Had surgery.
- Had stitches.
- Taken a taxi.
- Seen the Washington Monument.
- Had more than 5 IM’s/online conversations going at once.
- Overdosed.
- Had a drug or alcohol problem.
- Been in a fist fight.
- Suffered any form of abuse.
- Gone surfing in California.
- Had a pet hamster.
- Pet a wild animal.
- Used a credit card.
- Dyed your hair.
- Got a tattoo.
- Had something pierced.
- Got straight A’s.
- Been on the Honor Roll.
- Known someone with HIV or AIDS.
- Snuck out of the house.
- Swore at a teacher.
- Gone laser tagging.
- French braided.
- Skinny-dipped.
- Driven a car.
- Been in love.
- Had a blonde moment.
- Been on a train.
- Seen a ghost.
- Gone bungee-jumping.
- Been to Mexico.
- Crashed a car.
- Sky dived.
- Been kissed in the rain.
- Made an 11:11 wish.
- Drank alcohol.
- Had sex.
Wan’t to ask me about any of them? Feel free :)
- Mum: Why is your room always so messy?
- Me: So that if someone comes in and tries to kill me, they'll trip over something and die.
